I know, I know. Two months since I posted anything - utterly rubbish.
Not that I am making excuses, but December was as full as December always is, and January has passed us by in the blink of an eye... probably because, after a serious case of January blues and 'oh god I really don't want to go back to work and where is my life going and how am I ever going to be successful at anything', Mr C and I decided, almost overnight, to pack it all in and move to Australia!
Have you ever woken up and just realised you're basically living like a machine? That all excitement and inspiration from day to day life seem to have vanished? We were generally feeling like that. My job, which once I LOVED, just wasn't doing it for me any more. Any view of promotion was dashed in December, and really, that gave me the push I needed to start to change our lives. That and reading this post from my favourite blogger, Jessica at How Sweet It Is. That really made me think. I need to be more positive. I need to set myself goals and go out there and achieve them, because I can. Stop listening to the voice in my head (or at work...) that says you aren't good enough. Because frankly, it's bullshit. I spend so much time comparing myself to others, worrying about what other people think that it's crippling. I cant even go out for dinner with friends without having a mini breakdown because I look so hideous in everything I own. Which again, is ridiculous. I look fine, nice even. But the whole 'comparison is the thief of joy' thing really sums it up for me. I spend forever comparing myself to people I know, people I don't, friends, family, people online, and in the end I end up so wound up that I sacrifice my own happiness. Why?
We got married in August, and pretty much all we have heard since then is 'when are the babies coming along?!'. Now, don't get me wrong, we cannot WAIT to be parents, but we just have too much living to do first. We have never travelled properly, haven't had much life experience, and to be honest, just feel like we need another year or so under our belt before we really settle down to have a family. It's strange how everyone assumes that as soon as you get married you MUST be immediately going to have children. Any other newlyweds suffering with this? Luckily our families have been brilliant, and aren't putting the pressure on at all. They just remain as incredibly supportive of us as ever.
My new motto is the above. I'll keep you posted, promise.