Oh hey 2015!

2015 New Years Resolution? Blog more. Not for anyone but myself. I'm not going to kid myself with making a million half-assed resolutions that I will loathe myself for breaking within a week. Just blog more. And be happier in my own skin. That's it.

I can't wait to get this baby back up and running. I lost my mojo seriously for a while, and I haven't blogged at ALL since being in Aus. Which on one hand I get as it has been the craziest 8 months, but on the other hand... WHAT? I want to yell at myself! 'You have travelled this incredible country and seen so many amazing things and exploded out of your comfort zone and you have nooooothing to write about woman?' 

Crazy. 

But hey. I am only human. I worry every time I hit publish that I will be judged, that putting a little bit of myself out there for all to see that someone will think i'm an idiot. Totally just mis-typed idiot, so there's that... But lets give it a go, hey? Maybe its time to toughen up my skin and just put my thoughts out there. 

Oh OH and I have been on a baking spree. Seriously. It's like the moment we made the decision to stay and I got my own space for a little while my creative cooking juices just started going mental. There has been Banana Streusel Muffins, Salted Dulche de Leche Meringues and Oatmeal Choc Chip Cookies...all within like three days. No joke. 

These are Jessica's cookies from How Sweet It Is... actual food hero.

We move into our own place on the 21 Jan - finally, finally after staying with family for months and jousting we can start to nest in our own little place and begin to live, rather than 'travel'. Excited doesn't begin to cover it. We paid the deposit yesterday and it feels like the best way to begin a New Year. I already have SO many baking plans for the new place and can't wait to get stuck in. It has a massive kitchen and a PANTRY (ohmygod) which basically sealed the deal for me. 

My family arrive tomorrow to visit - my parents for a month and my sister for a week before she heads back to London to get stuck back in to her Masters. Clever little cookie. I am so excited to see them all, to move into our new house, to do all the things we want to do this year and to basically dive headfirst into another year. I always feel SO energised and excited at a New Year... and I have a feeling this one is going to be amazing.

So, 2015. Let's go!

Two Week Window

It is terrifyingly real to say now - only two weeks (actually, 13 days!) until we move to Australia for a year! The past few months have flown by, and it feels like only yesterday Mr C and I were sitting in our apartment and deciding what to do for the rest of our lives. We have packed up our home, and rented it out to another young couple in love. Hopefully they will love it and take care of it and have as much fun as we did living there. I found the packing up really, really hard, but the worst moment was the actual closing of the door as we left for the final time. It felt deeply poignant, hugely significant and felt heart-achingly final. As we quietly closed the door on that particular stage of our lives, I was overcome with emotion. I know it is still ours and we own it and it will be there when we come back, but when that happens, if it does, it won't be the same. We will have changed as people, as a couple. Things will have moved on, though undoubtedly for the better. 

We have moved to my parents house, where just over 7 months ago we had our beautiful wedding reception. It is an incredibly strange feeling living back at home - it feels like I have never left. The familiar feel of the bannister, the squeak of the floorboards, and the ability to navigate round the house in the complete darkness all contribute to making me feel like a child again, in the best possible way. Not to mention being back with my amazing parents, who are treating us (and feeding us!) like kings. A rude awakening is going to happen when we leave them I feel!

We now have a two week window in which to pack (not an issue for Mr C, who is convinced he is taking a small backpack and nothing else), say our final goodbyes to friends and family and finish work. Only 9 working days left, and a hell of a lot of emotions are coursing through me at the moment.  I cannot wait to get to Australia. It is my spiritual home, the place I feel most myself. I don't know what will happen when we get there, where we will eventually live, work, travel. But I do know that without question this will become a defining moment for me, as a person, and as a wife. Mr C and I are already stronger in a way that I didn't think we even lacked. A sense of complete reliability I suppose. I feel closer to him, deeper even. It's actually rather hard to describe without it sounding a bit seedy!

In order to squeeze as much into our remaining time in the UK as possible, we had the most fantastic weekend. The weather was simply beautiful and we were outside for most of it, and on Saturday night had the first of our leaving do's at a local pub. Highlights included a beautiful walk at Virginia Water lake with my family...

.

...followed by the most wonderful lunch al fresco with Mr C's Mummy at the Thatched Tavern, a local pub with a gorgeous garden. I had a delicious fillet of roasted haddock with herb crushed new potatoes and a heritage tomato and red onion salsa. Fresh, seasonal and absolutely delicious. First prize has to go to the Surf and Turf, which the others both had. A delicious, perfectly cooked fillet mignon with a gigantic tiger prawn, triple cooked chips and a fricassee of shellfish. Just perfect.

It doesn't seem real that in less than two weeks we will be flying far away from our incredible families and friends and leaving behind the place that we have grown up, fallen in love and made our home for the past 28 years. Our remaining days are to be filled with farewell get-togethers, and I am both looking forward to and dreading each and every one.

Laura xx

Moving to the other side of the world....

I know, I know. Two months since I posted anything - utterly rubbish.

Not that I am making excuses, but December was as full as December always is, and January has passed us by in the blink of an eye... probably because, after a serious case of January blues and 'oh god I really don't want to go back to work and where is my life going and how am I ever going to be successful at anything', Mr C and I decided, almost overnight, to pack it all in and move to Australia!


Via Pinterest

Have you ever woken up and just realised you're basically living like a machine? That all excitement and inspiration from day to day life seem to have vanished? We were generally feeling like that. My job, which once I LOVED, just wasn't doing it for me any more. Any view of promotion was dashed in December, and really, that gave me the push I needed to start to change our lives. That and reading this post from my favourite blogger, Jessica at How Sweet It Is. That really made me think. I need to be more positive. I need to set myself goals and go out there and achieve them, because I can. Stop listening to the voice in my head (or at work...) that says you aren't good enough. Because frankly, it's bullshit. I spend so much time comparing myself to others, worrying about what other people think that it's crippling. I cant even go out for dinner with friends without having a mini breakdown because I look so hideous in everything I own. Which again, is ridiculous. I look fine, nice even. But the whole 'comparison is the thief of joy' thing really sums it up for me. I spend forever comparing myself to people I know, people I don't, friends, family, people online, and in the end I end up so wound up that I sacrifice my own happiness. Why?

We got married in August, and pretty much all we have heard since then is 'when are the babies coming along?!'. Now, don't get me wrong, we cannot WAIT to be parents, but we just have too much living to do first. We have never travelled properly, haven't had much life experience, and to be honest, just feel like we need another year or so under our belt before we really settle down to have a family. It's strange how everyone assumes that as soon as you get married you MUST be immediately going to have children. Any other newlyweds suffering with this? Luckily our families have been brilliant, and aren't putting the pressure on at all. They just remain as incredibly supportive of us as ever.

 

So, there it is. Terrifying and exhilarating, all rolled into one. We leave on the 30 March, and are in the process of boxing up our beautiful little apartment, saying goodbye to family and friends (not QUITE at that stage yet, thank god), and preparing to move to the land Down Under.

My new motto is the above. I'll keep you posted, promise.

Laura x